Organization Slash XIII
by Yazoo1218
Summary: Just a bunch of short slash oneshots between the Organization. Very yaoi so u might not want to read it if ur not a fan of this type of fanfiction. Reviews are mucho appreciated. Constructive criticism only thnx!
1. Just a Bit

 Just a Bit 

By Fortexine

* * *

Zexion watched in silent envy as Roxas ate a sea salt ice cream. He stared with jealousy as the younger male slowly licked the side of the ice cream with his light blue tinted tongue. Zexion could only imagine how the cold ice cream would feel against his parched lips.

Roxas seemed to sense this, and turned his head slightly towards the older, now sweating male.

"Aww, does poor Zexy wanna bit of ice cweam?"

Now it was Zexion's turn to look at the younger male. He glared at Roxas for using that wretched name that he hated so much.

"Roxas, you know damn well not to call me that."

"Ha ha! Too bad, I like it! So do you want some or not?"

Grudgingly, Zexion replied, using most of the energy he had left.

"Yes Roxas, I would like some freaking ice cream."

"Okie dokies!"

And with that Roxas leaned towards the other male abruptly and kissed him forcefully, making sure to rub the taste of the sea salt ice cream on his tongue into Zexion's mouth.

Just as suddenly as he leaned forward, Roxas pulled away and continued licking his ice cream, a small smile playing on his lips. Zexion sat stock-still on the bench the bench they were sharing, his eyes glazed over and a giddy smile on his face. He knew from that day on to always ask Roxas for a bit of ice cream.

His tastes were delightfully refreshing on a hot day.


	2. Giveaway

 Giveaway 

By Fortexine

* * *

Lexaus was trying his hardest to stifle his laughter. In his hands was a picture, and probably the best blackmail ever to be in possession of a Nobody. 

Ever.

He ran down the hall to Vexen's room/lab, whatever you want to call it. He knew the Chilly Academic would be doing experiments early in the morning, if, well, you could call it morning.

"Vexen! Open the door, damn it!" Lexaus almost crashed the door in before Vexen finally came to answer it.

"What the hell! Can't I experiment in fucking peace anymore! God damn it!"

"Shut the hell up and look! I had to go tell Xemnas something about my mission, and I saw this! Look!"

Vexen angrily snatched the picture away from the giggling (yes, _giggling._ Hey, men can giggle.) Silent Hero and his eyes widened to about the size of silver platters.

There, in the picture, was the Superior, Xemnas, with his second-in-command, Saïx. Now, usually, that would be normal, but not in this case.

Oh hell no, not in this case.

Saïx was on top of Xemnas, his tongue obviously lost down the Superior's throat, and his hand was…well…not in a place Vexen was too keen on guessing.

"This…is sick and wrong…on so many levels…eww, Saïx is groping Xemnas's…thi-OH THAT'S JUST GROSS!"

Vexen's left eye was twitching madly while Lexaus was rolling around on the floor, laughing hysterically. Between gasps of laughter, Lexaus was able to choke out, "I'm _so_ bringing this up tonight!"

"Tch, your funeral."

That night was poker night for all the guys in the Organization (meaning that if Larxene came she had a….well, you know…anyways…) Lexaus sat in his usual seat between Zexion and Marluxia. During about the tenth round of poker, Lexaus decided to start a "friendly" conversation.

"Sooo…Xemnas…did you _enjoy_ your morning?"

Xemnas looked at the snickering Lexaus with an inquiring look.

"Uh…yeah…why?"

"Just asking! Saïx, ol' buddy ol' pal, how about yours?"

Saïx gave Lexaus a suspicious stare, and answered slowly.

"It was fine. Now answer me this: why are you suddenly taking an interest on how our mornings were?"

"Oh nothing, just making sure you enjoyed your little _sex-a-thon_ this morning."

Saïx and Xemnas, along with the other members, looked at Lexaus with incredulous stares. Saïx finally spoke.

"We were not having sex!"

"_Suure._"

"We weren't!"

"Uhuh."

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"Not at all."

"That's it I fold!"

Saïx threw down his cards, got up, and angrily strode towards the door (pretty obvious who the "girl" is in their relationship. Noticed that Xemnas hasn't said a word? Heh, he's just sitting in the midst of it all looking back and forth between the two men. So sad…anyways). Before he wrenched the door open, however, he spun around quickly and practically yelled, "You don't even have any proof!"

"I have proof."

Both Saïx and Xemnas stared at Lexaus with a mixture of awe, anger, and embarrassment. Xemnas finally spoke (after about ten minutes of arguing between his "man" and Lexaus.)

"What!" he screamed (Oh my god! Isn't he one to strike fear into the hearts of evil?)

"Yup, I got your proof right here."

"What's your proof!"

"Picture."

Xemnas and Saïx looked at each other quickly before turning to Lexaus, to which Saïx said, "That could've been digitally fixed!" (They had computers in that castle. Geez, they're not _that _out of touch with the world.)

Lexaus countered back with a huge smirk on his face.

"I suppose you want more proof then?"

"Pff, well yeah!"

"Fine, Saïx, turn around. May all of you draw your attention to his ass?" (Stop getting gay ideas, you perverts.)

Saïx heatedly turned around.

He was evidently unaware of the huge, white anal lube stain on his black cloaked behind.


	3. Coffee Whore

Coffee Whore

By Fortexine

"Please?"

"No."

"Just one macchiato?"

"No. Not after last time. You watered my daffodils with peroxide, remember?

"But that was from black coffee!"

"And what will happen with a macchiato? You'll run around nekkers singing the 'Happy Song'? Hell no."

Demyx and Marluxia were standing outside the Dark City Starbucks, and poor Marly had to deal with a fraught Melodious Nocturn begging for coffee. There was no way in hell Demyx wasn't getting his macchiato. It was one of the best coffees Starbucks sold! He **needed** his macchiato. **NOW.** _'Time for desperate measures,' _No. IX thought to himself.

"Hey Marly, did I ever tell you that you look _really_ sexy when you're annoyed? 'Cause well, you do." Demyx cooed seductively in Marluxia's ear, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him close from behind.

"Wha-? Oh, t-thanks," Marluxia was blushing hard; Demyx's plan was working well.

"If you just give me 50 munny, I'll give you a rockin' treat tonight, whaddy' ya say?" Demyx whispered breathily.

"Oh, Demyx," Marluxia sighed, seemingly enjoying the seduction.

"Yeah baby?"

"Get the fuck off me before I castrate you. Now."

Marluxia's voice was suddenly stern, completely void of pleasure, which caused Demyx to quickly obey. Now released, The Graceful Assassin began to walk back through the streets of Dark City towards the castle. Shocked but still persistant, Demyx called out, "Can I still have 50 munny for a coffee?"

At this, Marluxia spun around and yelled back angrily, "If you want your damn money so bad, why don't you go screw Vexen, you coffee whore!" He gave Demyx a quick glare before continuing to walk away in a huff. Demyx considered this proposition for a moment before creating a portal to see Vexen, thinking to himself, _'Deep throating an old man can't be **that** bad, right?'_


	4. Vaso Dilation

**Vaso Dilation**

* * *

"Okay, how about 'wool growing'? It means 'daydreaming'."

"Well, Demyx, I'd say that if every time you zoned out you grew wool, you'd have enough to make sweaters to clothe every poor person there is."

"What the hell?! Not nice, Xigbar!"

"Not trying to be, kid."

"Hmph."

The time: late afternoon. The people: Demyx and Xigbar obviously. The game: complicated words with simple meanings. Why play this kind of game, you ask? Well, why not?

"Okay, here's one: vaso dilation."

"…What the bloody hell does that mean?"

"It's a medical term, Dem."

"Do I _look_ like a doctor to you?"

"Pff, just take a wild freaking guess, Demyx (--;)"

"Um…does it mean black lung disease?"

"No…that's pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis…and that really wasn't intended to mean black lung disease, you dumb ass."

"…Ok, whatever, I'm not even going to ask why the hell you know that…"

"Sigh…ok, here's a demonstration."

Xigbar leaned forward towards Demyx, eyes half lidded lustfully and…gave Demyx the hardest bitch slap of his life.

"OW! Oh my God, Xigbar! What the hell?!"

"Ok, now your cheek is red. Vaso dilation is when the visage turns red, usually when blushing or, in your case, after being slapped hard enough." Xigbar gave Demyx a smug smile, fully enjoying the look of disbelief on Demyx's face. It was kinda like this: 00. After about a moment of silence, Demyx finally spoke.

"Xigbar?"

"Yeah, kid?"

SLAP

"Pwned, bitch!"

End

* * *

A/N: ok, this was kinda bad, I kn0…but when I originally wrote this, it was gonna be romancy and sappy at the end, but it was stupid so I changed it . a good review would make me feel good u kn0. u kn0 why u should give me good reviews? because im tying and uploading a bunch of stories now to make up for a month of absence. c'mon, review…pleeze?

-Forte


	5. Klutz

ok, this one was written by a friend, Ivy. She was like, "Can i write a story for your drabble group thing?" and i was like, "well, i dont know, i have pretty strict standards, like the fact that it hast to be funny or contain yaoi." and then she showed me this, and i had to put it on.

Enjoy.**  
**

* * *

**  
Klutz**

Luxord had the task of rallying everyone for a meeting, courtesy of Xaldin, the Whirlwind Asshole. Really, why him? Does the guy know how hard it is to walk around the entire castle, searching all thirteen floors plus Castle Oblivion? When he conjured a meeting, he was sending that bastard of a superior to get everyone; see how he feels about it.

Then it clicked. Mentally slapping himself, he asked no one in particular, "Why the hell didn't I just make a portal?"

The question fell on deaf ears as the silence of the hall was all he got in response. Sighing, he continued. He was almost done with his task and he needed a bit of exercise anyway. Only two more others—Demyx and Marluxia. He searched the ninth floor of the Castle That Never Was and surprisingly, no sign of Demyx there. Maybe Marluxia will know where he is…

He went over to good ole' Castle Oblivion. He was quite hesitant; he had never been in there before. And he had heard from Axel about the rules on the castle.

_To find is to lose and to lose is to find_

Luxord stood there for a good minute, contemplating on whether he should really enter…The phrase repeated over and over in his head. To find is to lose and to lose is to-…

Ah, screw it. The blonde Brit kicked the door open and went inside. The gambler headed to the highest part of the structure, where the Graceful Assassin's room was. Learning from his mistake, he made a portal to the high peak of the castle, saving him the time and effort. God knows what would happen with Luxord losing his memories.

Walking down the STILL white hallways, he eventually came upon Marluxia's door. Being the courteous gentleman he is, the blonde knocked on the door. There was no one who answered. He turned the knob and opened the door himself.

"Marluxia, you have a meeting to go to. By the way is Demyx…?" His voice trailed off as he went inside the room and got his first good look at the scene in front of him. Marluxia was in the room, but that was expected. But he had nothing plant related or any sort of weapon, as not to be expected. He was lying on the floor, which was also not expected. He couldn't have tripped; he was the _Graceful_ Assassin. And good ole' Demyx was lying on top of him, their faces barely two inches apart, as _totally_ not expected.

Both Nobodies were gaping at the newcomer, their faces registering shock, confusion and absolute embarrassment. For a moment, there was absolute silence as all three Organization members stared at each other. Then suddenly, as the scythe wielder was about to speak, Luxord had beat him to it.

"Holy crap, I'm so sorry I barged in on you two. Itwon'thappenagain.Butpleasedon'thurtmeandyouhavetogotoTheCastleThatNeverWasforameeting,okay?Okay,bye!" The door slammed shut as Demyx and Marluxia heard the Brit's footsteps fade as he dashed down the castle, his brain not even functioning correctly due to the sight he saw.

For another moment, neither of the two remaining dared to move. It was then that finally, Demyx got off the other Nobody, who had sat up. The sitar player turned back to the castle lord, with a worried (and somewhat scared) look on his face.

"Well…shit."

&&&&&&&

A minute later, the others in the meeting room heard a portal opening and soon footsteps before Demyx and Marluxia came in, taking their seats. The two tried to ignore the strange stares they were getting from everyone, including Xemnas. For a long time, they just sat there, not daring to break the silence and the tension hung quivering like a taut string. Finally, Xaldin stood up and shakily began the meeting.

When it was over, no one got up. Again, the silence and tension reappeared with no one daring to make a move. At long last, a voice broke through the silence, "So…Demyx…Marluxia…Luxord said you two were doing something…inappropriate upstairs?"

Number IX's mouth kept opening and closing like a fish's, trying to speak but with no words spilling out. Marly was silent, his eyes closed. At long last, the blonde seemed to find his voice, "W-well, Superior," he said, "You see it was…Well, to speak truthfully—"

"He fell on me."

Everyone, including Demyx, continued to stare at the Graceful Assassin in shock. The Nobody straightened, opening his eyes and refusing to look at the Melodious Nocturne, "He came up to my room, fighting about something—I can't seem to recall what because it was so trivial. He tripped over his own feet, being the klutz that he is, and fell on me."

No one noticed Demyx frowning, "Marluxia—"

"And after that," he continued, plowing smoothly over him, "He just had to get his stupid foot stuck under the bed—"

"Marluxia—"

"—and couldn't get out, so we were stuck there—"

"Marluxia!"

"—where Luxord so conveniently found us where we were, whereas—"

"_Fine!_" That got the pink-haired man's attention, and turning, he saw Demyx glaring at him. It had been a while since any of them had seen the boy angry and before everyone's eyes he rose from the table and walked towards the door.

"Demyx, where are you going?" Roxas asked, concerned for his friend

"Away." He replied. They heard the footsteps fade and a portal open.

Silence reigned over them once again, with several Nobodies still shocked by the musician's outburst. Marluxia frowned and mentally slapped himself before he instantly sprang to his feet, "Crap…" he muttered to himself

"Now where are _you_ going?" Vexen asked

"None of your business, old man; go screw yourself over a few times to get in your head that it's rude to pry." He answered as the Chilly Academic steamed. A few moments later, he found himself standing in front of the boy's door, one hand raised to knock on the thin wood. He stayed like that for a bit, hand suspended in midair before finally lowering it back to his side and, instead, reaching out and opening the door himself.

He found the Melodious Nocturne sitting on the windowsill, looking out the window. He didn't turn as Marluxia entered the room, softly closing the door behind him. Neither spoke, like downstairs, until the newer member finally opened his mouth, "Listen, Demyx—"

"Why do you always have to be like that?" he asked, not turning around. He slowly walked toward him and listened as Demyx continued in a bitter tone, "It's always the same; you put your pride first. So much that you can't even admit to the others that we're together."

Marluxia came to a stop, standing about a few feet away from his lover. He, too, looked out the window, refusing to meet with the boy's hard eyes. "I'm sorry…" he whispered in a soft voice. When the other made no reply, he sighed, "Look, I don't know if it'll make much of a difference…but I didn't do it for myself."

He saw out of the corner of his eye, Demyx turning slightly at his direction, so he decided to continue, "I thought that was what you wanted." He said, "When Luxord came in, you just looked so surprised that I thought you weren't ready to come out with it yet. To tell you the truth, I could care less who knows or doesn't know about us. If you wanted to, I would've told him the truth. But Demyx, you have to know, I would never put my pride before you."

For a long time, the sitar player didn't answer. Finally, though, he shifted slightly just to make enough room for Marly on the windowsill. Very slowly, he closed his eyes, "…Yeah…"

The scythe-wielder walked forward, taking a seat beside the water user and slipped an arm around his waist, "Sorry if I made you mad…" he apologized

The musician turned, resting his head on the crook of Marluxia's neck and wrapping his arms around him, "It's alright…"

Number XI relaxed at his words, again turning to look out into the darkness of The World That Never Was. He was distracted, though, when he felt something warm touch the skin of his neck. Blushing, he frowned down at his lover, "Dem," he whispered, "now's not a good time…"

"And why not?" he asked, kissing him again, "Besides, you made me mad. That gives me the right to punish you."

"Yeah, but…" The Graceful Assassin couldn't hold back a soft sigh of pleasure, "…Why do I always give in to you?"

"'Cause you love me." Demyx said simply, kissing him again. Smiling, he shifted slightly and pushed, just enough to make Marluxia lose his balance so that he ended up face-up on Demyx's bed (which was right next to the window) with the Melodious Nocturne on top of him, grinning widely. "Now…" his head lowered next to the scythe wielder's own and he whispered, "let the punishment begin…"

While Demyx was "punishing" his lover, neither of them heard the sound of a portal being opened and footsteps approaching the door, "Geez…" Luxord muttered as he opened the door, "Why's it always me—gyah!"

The two broke apart to see the Brit once again standing in the doorway, gaping at them with his face ghastly pale. Again, there was only a shocked silence before the blonde turned, raising an expected eyebrow as he loosed down at Marluxia. His lover smiled, turning back to his shocked superior in the doorway.

"Luxord." He addressed, his voice calm and even, "We're busy. Get out of here right now before I personally neuter you. With my scythe."

Oh, the Gambler of Fate didn't have to be asked twice; he instantly slammed the door shut and both of them heard him running down the stairs (again, his mind wasn't functioning quite right after that), screaming at the top of his lungs, "Guys! You won't believe what Demyx and Marluxia are doing up there…!"

Demyx chuckled, "He'll be traumatized for life. You think his brain'll function properly after that?"

Marluxia shrugged, "Doubt it." He made a small knife out of sharp rose thorns (thank you flower element, he thought) and with a deft flick of his wrist, sent them to the door hinge. And just for extra precaution, he threw some under the door crack, so that it went out in the hall. "There we go." He said, turning back to his lover, "Now, where were we?"

The sitar player frowned slightly with worry, "Are you sure about this?"

Marluxia shrugged, kissing him again, "Of course." He replied, "Besides…this is nothing compared to what Siax and Xemnas are doing…"

**End**


	6. A Christmas Story

Ok, this is just a little holiday songfic that my friend, Ivy, the one who helped me write the last piece, let me use. It's mainly being sung by Demyx, with a little addition of Marluxia…I'll let you guys know when that comes in at the end…but I'm sure you can all figure it out…!

Enjoy!

* * *

"speaking/narration" 

_"singing"_

_'thoughts' _difference: only one quote thingy

**_(speaking part of song)_**

* * *

**O' Christmas Tree**

Demyx stood stock still and as quiet as possible as he hid behind the large and heavily decorated pine tree that the Organization had cut down for Christmas. He breathed heavily as he tried to catch his breath from running so far for so long, and he tried to conceal himself better behind the tree's festive baubles. _'Great. Just great. It's Almost Christmas, and Marly's angry with me….simply terrific' _he thought to himself sadly. As he looked at the tree he was hiding behind, a song from when he used to have a heart suddenly popped into his head. Demyx thought over the chorus lines and tried to improvise with lines describing his current dilemma. Summoning his sitar, he began to softly sing…

_"O' Christmas tree, O' Christmas tree,_

_Do not let Marley see me._

_O' Christmas tree, O' Christmas tree,_

_Do not let Marley see me._

_Today I flooded his greenhouse_

_And with some acid he will douse** (me)**_

_O' Christmas tree, O' Christmas tree,_

_Do not let Marley see--"_

"Aha! Found you!"

"Gack! RUN AWAY!!!"

* * *

Yeah, ok, this was just a silly little thing…three guesses who yelled "Found you!" (cough) Marluxia, durr...(cough) 

Merry Christmas. everybody.

-Yazoo (new name!...shut up I like it xP)


	7. Balloon

HOLD IT!!!!

if you havent read Giveaway Chapter 2, then you wont understand this chapter. go read it.

NOW

have a nice day!

-Yazoo

* * *

Lexaeus sat silently and contently on the grass in the castle courtyard. Laced loosely between his fingers was the string to a shiny red balloon, which was swaying slightly in the calm setting. Lexaeus remembered how his Other would become very happy and at peace with the world after acquiring a balloon, and wanted to see if he could recreate that same feeling of joy. So while quietly watching a pair of butterflies flutter about, the Silent Hero sat and held the balloon between his large fingers, slowly recalling the feeling of harmony with everything around him.

As he stared out into the horizon, Lexaeus felt a sharp knock to the head. Surprised, Lexaeus turned behind him to find nobody there. Suddenly, Lexaeus was hit in the head yet again. Now pretty annoyed, he turned to the balloon and asked sarcastically, "Are you hitting me?"

He was answered with a hard sucker punch to the face.

Shocked into even more silence, he sat there stock still on the grass. He, Lexaeus, had just been quite painfully punched in the face by a balloon. A man of his large and muscular build should not have a smarting nose after being socked in the face by a _balloon_, of all things. Just as suddenly as the fist punch, the balloon began a thorough pwnage of the Silent Hero, thoroughly punching at every bit of Lexaeus it could reach.

Basically, Lexaeus was getting his ass handed to him by a red balloon.

Oh how the mighty have fallen --;

As the balloon was pounding Lexaeus' face into the grass, its string tied itself around the Silent Zero (he just got owned by a fucking balloon, that's bloody messed up) and began to pull him into the air by his ankle. Hanging upside down about fifty feet from the ground (like in the clouds, that far up) the balloon stopped floating higher and hung in the air with Lexaeus hanging upside down for the string. Staring back down at the ground, Lexaeus thoroughly regretted getting this damn balloon and wished he was back inside the castle on solid ground. He swiveled around a bit and caught sight of someone else hanging from their arm on the string of a yellow balloon. Lexaeus realized that it was Larxene, who had been missing for about three months now. She waved happily to the Silent Hero, who first stared in disbelief and waved back. The two Nobodies waved at each other for a good three minutes before a large plane flew right into Larxene. When the plane passed, the yellow balloon Larxene was hanging from was floating alone in the air, no Larxene hanging from it. Lexaeus stared wide-eyed at the space where Larxene used to be, when his own balloon relinquished its grip on the Silent Hero's leg. Lexaeus screamed fearfully as he fell ungracefully on his face. Thinking his torture was over, he made to run like a little girl back to the castle, when he felt something wrap around his wrist.

Three guesses what it was...

The balloon wasn't letting Lexaeus get away so easily. It pulled the Silent Zero (new name!) back into the air and let him plummet back to the ground about six more times before it decided to stop, but not without giving Lexaeus a punch to the balls for good measure. After making certain that Lexaeus wasn't going to get up any time soon, it floated away as if noting happened.

Lexaeus stayed face-down on the ground, and stayed in that position for about twenty minutes.

From the castle, Saïx and Xemnas walked over to where the beaten Silent Hero (I'll be nice this time...) and examined his beaten body. Saïx's mouth curled into a triumphant smirk as Xemnas popped out the video cassette of Lexaeus balloon beat-down that he'd been taping from a window that gave a clear view of the incident. Saïx kneeled down to Lexaeus' ear and muttered evilly, "This is for the picture."

* * *

Haha, based on Billy's Balloon on youtube. If you don't get the picture reference, then go read Giveaway (chapter 2)

I was laughing so hard while writing this cuz I was watching the video at the same time

And I'm writing this at 1:44 in the morning and I have to wake up at 6. Don't make me feel like I did this for nothing. Review damnit!

...please?

- Yazoo


	8. Pairings

"I don't get it! Why do people insist onpairing me up with Xaldin!?"

"I don't know"

"I mean, he's a nice guy and all, but he's just a friend to me! Nothing else!"

"It must get very irritating."

"You bet it does! I hate it! He's just a friend to me! I'm not gonna suck his dick off anytime soon!"

"Xigbar..."

"I mean seriously, he's a fucking masochist with those spears!"

"Xigbar…!"

"And lets not forget those man-eating sideburns!"

"XIGBAR!"

"Yeah, Vexen?"

"Less talking, more sucking." 

"Right..."

End

(XD wow, I typed this up while my dad was updating my computer (im usin my phone) anyway, hope you all like it! -Yazoo )


	9. Misconception

Diclaimer: i sadly own nothing except the game and these ideas for these truly effed up stories. i have a sick mind, i fully understand that ;;

* * *

**Misconception  
**

**  
**

Roxas walked through the halls of The Castle that Never Was late one Saturday afternoon, sipping a Starbucks vanilla latte and listening to Stupid Girls by P!nk on his iPod (what? he apparently thinks it's funny!). As he sauntered down the long bleached hallway towards the kitchen, he heard a loud CRASH! coming from the pantry door, along with hushed voices. Curious, Roxas stood outside the door and listened.

"…Are you sure we're doing this right?" one voice asked quietly.

"Yes, Zexion, you've been asking that same question the whole time. Trust me, I know what I'm doing." the other voice answered just as quietly as the first.

"Ah, it's rising, finally."

"Yeah, so is mine."

"And it's hardening a bit too on the outside."

"Yes, so is mine, you're doing fine."

"…Wow, yours is so smooth…"

"So is yours…ah, done. Shall we reward ourselves?"

"Mmhmm, we sould…come here."

By now, Roxas was terrified at the thought of opening the door. Sucking up all of his faked fear, he opened the door quickly anyway.

There, standing in the middle of the pantry in front of the ovens was Lexaeus and Zexion, holding what seemed to be two freshly baked loaves of bread.

"Ah, Roxas," Zexion said pleasantly, "We were just finishing up these loaves of bread, would you like to try a piece?"

**End**

* * *

OMFG. The whole time I was writing this I was laughing my ass off. While writing the dialogue between LexZex term totally stolen from Fenny Piper, sorry! I had to keep telling myself, "They're just making bread!" Well, anyhoo, I really hope you liked it! 


	10. Stupid

**I'm not dead! Just lazy! ;; More will be added soon, I promise.**

**I don't own KH II, _The Little Prince_ or SexyBack.  
**

* * *

**Stupid**

The sound of pages being turned filled the cavernous, empty library as Saïx read a book on his favorite velvet couch.

Okay, so the book happened to be a French children's book, _The Little Prince_, but he still liked to read it time and time again.

As he lay on his stomach reading about how the narrator landed, a sudden increase of weight pressed his lower back into the couch cushions. He turned as much as the sudden weight gain would allow to face what caused the added bulk, which turned out to be a certain grey haired young man.

"Zexion, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

This inquiry went unanswered, as the Cloaked Schemer listening to SexyBack on his iPod at a very loud volume. Saïx did what any other person would do to gain someone's attention: he elbowed him in the ribs.

I have a strong feeling that everybody reading this has done this before, and should now be nodding heir heads like, "Yeah, I have don't that before…!" If you say you haven't, then you're fucking lying. Stop it. It's not a good thing to do.

Anyway, Saïx elbowed Zexion sharply in the ribs, finally gaining the attention from the young man that he wanted.

"Ow! What the hell? Can't a guy sit on a couch and listen to music in peace anymore?!" Zexion said angrily, gently rubbing his side.

"Not when you're sitting on someone else, you can't," Saïx retorted sharply before returning to his book. Zexion took out one ear bud and leaned to look over Saïx's shoulder, much to the Luna Diviner's annoyance.

"Get. Off. Me. That hurts," Saïx growled, steadily getting closer to going berserk on Zexion's ass. Zexion, apparently thoroughly enjoying the fact that he was pissing Saïx off, asked in a totally out-of-character sing-song voice, "What'cha reading?"

Saïx wanted to get rid of Zexion as quickly as possible, so he answered curtly, "_The Little Prince._" Instead of going away after receiving the short, annoyed answer, it spurred No. VI to talk more.

"Isn't that a French children's story? For like, **little** kids?"

"Yeah, so?"

"That's pretty stupid, a 23 year old reading a book intended for two to seven year olds."

Saïx slammed his book down and twisted to face a smirking Zexion, who was still sitting on his now aching back.

"It most certainly is **NOT** as stupid as you listening to SexyBack!" Saïx said defensively.

"I bet you can't even _say_ 'stupid' in French," Zexion challenged, his smirk widening as he folded his arms, watching Saïx with amusement.

"I can so! 'Stupide'!" Saïx said triumphantly.

"How about German?" Zexion asked.

"Dumm."

"Spanish?"

"Estúpide."

"Italian?"

"Stupido."

"…Russian?"

"глупый(1)"

"Damn," Zexion said, very impressed. Saïx wore a proud smile and folded his arms.

"Well then, Mr. Languages, figure out what I'm about to say, and give me an answer in the same language." Zexion challenged again.

"Sure…" Saïx was wary of Zexion's plan, unsure of what he was going to say. That is, until Zexion's whole body was pressed on top of his. He could feel the Cloaked Schemer's warm breath in his ear as he whispered, "Aurez-vous le sexe avec moi?(2)"

Saïx's eyes widened significantly, not because he didn't know what it means, but because he was extremely turned on by it. He answered with a sly smile on his face, "L'enfer ouais.(3)"

"That night, if one passed by the No. VII's room, one could hear SexyBack blasting through the speakers over the sounds of bedsprings creaking.

* * *

Author's Notes: 

(1) (If the characters don't show, that's not my fault) Do not ask me how to say this, I have absolutely no idea.

(2)"Will you have sex with me?"

(3)"Hell yeah."


End file.
